Old Town, New habits

Okay, so, by now you all know I'm back in Cleveland, TN. It's nice to be back in town and see all of my friends. It is also nice to know that I'll be close to my sister who is studying at Lee. However, this time around I am having to acquire new survival skills. My husband is in the beginning stages of Army training which requires him to be away from me and Caleb until he completes AIT (advanced individual training). Sooo, that puts me in a single mom position. It really isn't too bad because, thankfully, we only have one kid. However, it does complicate every other aspect of our lives.

Having to re-train myself to not discuss everything with someone else before I make a decision is hard. You know, when your single you don't have to discuss every financial decision with someone else, or you don't have to see what others think about your dinner decisions. But, when you're married, you kind of learn to think out loud so that you get some kind of feed back from your spouse. You know, when talking to them through out the day you might say, hey, I was thinking about Panda for dinner, what do you think? And depending on how positive or negative their response is, you make your decision. So, after 5 years of thinking out loud it has become a habit. Now that Josh is gone I find myself thinking out loud to my 4-year-old, which, let's face it, is NOT a good idea. I actually heard myself ask him today what he wanted to eat for dinner. In some, rare, special occasions that's cool. But any parent knows that when you let your kids make decisions once, they get drunk with power and think they can start making ALL decisions. It was at that moment that I realized what I was doing. I was thinking out loud as if there were another adult present who I needed to consult.

This is one of many changes that I need to make in order to survive Military lifestyle. The only other really major change, or acquired habit, I need to master is learning to be okay with not knowing what's ahead of me. The military is not at all efficient. They really are the most disorganized group I have ever been in contact with. They don't know how long it's going to be, they don't know where you're going to be, they don't really know anything. They tell you one thing, and a week later, A WEEK, not just the next day, or later on that day, a week later they find out they were wrong and things have changed. Do you know how much planning goes into motion within a week that has to be un-planned? Anyway, this of course poses a problem for me because I am super planning woman. I have to know what's coming around the corner before I move in that direction. I suppose, by some divine chance, this could be God teaching me to rely on Him alone. He just seems to always hit me where it hurts the most, my need for control.

So, beyond these points, and the most obvious, not having my hubby around, there really isn't too much to complain about. I am proud of what Josh does, and I can't lie, I enjoy the pay. I only pray that whatever God has planned for us, He really keeps His promise of not giving us more than we can handle.